Before the Beat the Binge program, I was a hot mess. I had just started another online diet program and couldn't understand why I kept 'blowing it' and instead of losing weight, I was gaining.
All day long all I thought about was food. What I was going to eat, how much, whether the food was 'good' or 'bad'.
Binges were the worst. Any chance I could get to 'sneak' away and eat massive quantities of food was torture. I hated myself and felt so out of control. I thought I was broken. Instead of living my life, I was a zombie walking around waiting for the next food thought to pop into my head (which didn't take long because that was the majority of my thoughts). The sad part was, that I didn't even consider there might be another way.
I've lived like this for so long, the idea of food freedom didn't even occur to me.
I decided to join the program on a whim. I've been following Lydia for well over a year (watching her videos, etc). She had sent out openings for her free coaching sessions before but one day as I was walking to the break room at work, I opened her email and scheduled the appointment. I had no clue that my life was going to change forever when I did that one simple thing
As I am writing this, I am so incredibly grateful. I have my life back. I'm doing all of these 'normal' things now that I never thought I could. I've given up restriction and guess what? I haven't had a binge since. I had one episode where the thought popped into my head and just like that I recognized how ridiculous it sounded! Why on earth would I eat massive quantities of food?!
If you would have told me that would be my reaction to a binge thought 8 weeks ago, I would have laughed (loudly) in your face. I am free to go where I want, eat (or not eat) what I want. My life has normal problems like anyone else's but now I don't lean on binging to 'deal' with things or numb out and avoid my life. I am truly free for the first time since I was 14 years old.