I get this question a lot: What do I need to do to stop binge eating?
But it's not "How do I need to change my brain?" It's all about what circumstances people need to change.
Do I need to eat a certain way? Do yoga? Meditate for an hour each morning? Avoid all stress? Never be alone?
For example, I know a woman who is recovered from bulimia because she does yoga. Almost daily. In fact, she became a yoga instructor because she must do yoga to keep her bulimia at bay.
That is awesome recovery. But it is not freedom.
What happens if she doesn't do yoga anymore?
Recovery is managing your eating disorder. Freedom is not having an eating disorder anymore.
The other danger is that with recovery through controlling your circumstances, it works less and less.
First, you have do to yoga. But after a while you still binge. Then you have to do yoga and not eat sugar. But then you start binging again. Then you have to be sugar free, do daily yoga, meditate, never travel, not be alone on Fridays...
Your life gets small and limited fast. And...you are still binging.
Or you stop binging.
For instance, I coached a woman who was in OA for 25 years. And she didn't binge. She also didn't have sugar or flour for 25 years. She also felt like she was going to have a nervous breakdown.
She was so terrified and obsessed with food. Her whole life was managing her eating disorder. She had to check in with people, attend meetings and be "perfect" for the rest of her life.
And she came to me because she knew there must be a better way. She could tell that she was recovered but her recovery created more chains then her eating disorder did.
Here are the steps to actual freedom. They are the very steps I walk my clients through.
*Understand that the only reason you binge is because you have a cascade of thoughts that lead you to binge eating. It's just a habit of thought. And we believe those thoughts.*
1. First, be aware of the chatter that is leading to a binge
This awareness is huge, but I have had many clients that weren't aware of their chatter until they started looking at it in a new way.
I have coached multiple women who thought they didn't have chatter. As soon as I showed them how to access their chatter, they were really surprised, and then they were free.
Some people I coach think they know what their chatter is, but it's actually a whole different set of chatter that was leading to their binge eating. Once they see this, they can get free.
2. Second, create a system that takes the impact away from your thoughts
You must know what do to with your thoughts once you are aware of them.
And then it doesn't matter what they are, they never lead to binging, because you know just what to do with those thoughts.
This is the step where the binging stops.
3. Third, you let your brain change.
The behavior of binging is gone and your brain changes on it's own.
We re-create our brain all the time.
Once you aren't creating connections between the thoughts you think and binging, you make new ones.
And the urge, appeal, or compulsion to binge goes away.
You have a brain that feels relaxed around food.
If you want help on this journey, you can snag a free session with our team at www.LydiaWente.com/apply and we will walk you through the foundation to freedom.