- 1) "I have to have my life figured out" When you stop binge eating, you see that you can start living your life. That this is putting relationships and opportunities on hold. But you don't know what you want yet out of life, you feel like it has to be perfect and so you don't end the cycle until you know what life will be like.
Truth - none of the women I have helped get free have their life figured out. But their life is often on pause. And giving yourself the chance to figure out your life doesn't mean you have to figure it out all at once. In fact, you can NEVER figure out your life in advance. When have you ever figured out how your life would go and it actually went that way. The best way to experience life is to live it.
- 2) "I have no idea what my life looks like without binge eating" Maybe you have no memory of having a normal relationship with food. This has always been present. It's the devil that we know. It's horrible, but it's familiar. And because we can't imagine life without it, we stay in the cycle.
Truth - So many women that I coach are totally surprised by what freedom is like. It's not a big deal! It's fun and awesome, but it's literally just getting you back. And that is a natural process. For instance, I had a client tell me the other day that she thought it would be so hard to fill the hours that she spent binge eating. Now that she is binge free, she just noticed that she is just happier and way more productive and without trying her business has grown a lot. Your real life fills itself in. You don't have to know.
- 3) "I have to accept my body before I can end the cycle" You feel like you have to accept your body, but you don't feel good about your body. So you have to change your body to accept it. So you restrict to lose weight. But that makes the binge eating worse. And then you gain more weight. And it's even harder to accept your body. But you have to accept your body before you can end the cycle...
I have a whole series on debunking diets.
- 4) "How will I cope with my emotions?" You feel like you have always turned to food for comfort. So what happens when you don't have it anymore. Will there just be an abyss of emotion that will swallow you up? Isn't it better to just eat this one last time so you don't have to feel this way?
I used to totally believe this. Until I realized that binging didn't help me cope, it just numbed me for 30 minutes and then gave me way more terribleness to deal with afterward. If I thought I was sad before, well now I have TWO problems because I just binged. It helped me cope with my emotions NOT binging because I had more energy to just deal with my real life.
I have a client that sent me a message 2 days ago. She has a lot of anxiety and she thought that she dealt with that with binging. Well, she is binge free now and she shared this experience: She was like, I had a lot of anxiety, but I didn't want to binge, so I just worked out and it was great and I felt better. She did what made her feel better - not worse! And now she is using what I taught her for her anxiety and that is a whole next level of awesome :)
- 5) "Part of me enjoys binging" It's what you get most excited about. What you look forward to. More fun than anything else. You would rather eat than be with your family. If you end the binging, what if the biggest joy and excitement is lost?
I got more joy out of eating that anything else in my life. That freaked me out, but that's how it was in my crazy days. I couldn't imagine my life without that and it scared me. But I wanted freedom. Being a normal eater now, it's been amazing to see that I have lost the joy over food. It's not a big deal and nothing is that exciting. But other things in my life are. People, family, new experiences. My distorted attention on food stole all that joy from other areas of my life.
- 6) "What if I try and fail?" What if you really went all in? What if you got the help you needed? After everything you have tried, what if this is just another thing that you fail at? Could you take one more failure?
I get it. That can be scary. The moment for me that changed all that was when I asked myself this question: am I going to die a binge eater. I saw that if I didn't fix this that this would be the rest of my life. I shifted from the fear of "what if try and fail" to the fear of "if I don't find a way out of this I am guaranteed to fail." What if the one thing you were afraid to try was the way you would have gotten free. But you passed it up because of fear. Ask yourself - what is your fear if this keeps going? And then pick your fear.
Everything in my life is better without binge eating. Everything. Freedom is a joy every day. I had all those fears, but none of them were true. They were just the same chatter that kept me in the cycle of bulimia.
- If you are ready to be done with this, even if you are full of fear, you could just take that first step: book a free session, join the facebook group - move in the direction of hope. Go to www.LydiaLifestyle.com