Our topic today is something I have chatted about before, but wanted to specifically talk about it in light of the #metoo hashtag that you guys have seen everywhere.
People all over the world are sharing stories of their sexual assault, rape, trauma to bring awareness to just how common of a thing this is. I made my own post on Facebook.
And it is common. And that is a horrible thing.
What I wanted to talk to you guys about is how this ties into eating disorders and some really damaging myths.
Myth #1 - You have an eating disorder because of your trauma. There are so many ways that eating disorders start. And yes, they may have started because of some kind of trauma. But they keep going because they have become a habit. What started your eating disorder doesn't really matter when we go to fix it. There is nothing broken about you that doomed you to an eating disorder for the rest of your life. There is a lot of stigma around eating disorders. One reason is this idea that if you have an eating disorder it's because you have been abused in some way. People site stats about the large percentage of women with eating disorders that have been sexually abused. But sadly, it's just that in general a large percentage of women have been sexually abused. It doesn't mean you can't be out of food hell.
Myth #2 - You have to work through all your trauma before you get better from your eating disorder. I have coached women who have been horribly assaulted. They have spent over 20 years in therapy working through it. And a big motivator for them was to work through it so they could end their eating disorder. That was always the promise. Work through all your trauma and then your eating disorder will go away. But then they work through their trauma, and they STILL have an eating disorder. It's an amazing thing that they got the help they needed for their trauma. I would always encourage that. But I see that women are also so upset that they WAITED 20 years to fix their eating disorder because they thought there was a prerequisite!
I coached a woman who was bulimic for 17 years. We ended her bulimia in about 6 weeks working together. And AFTER she was free she happened to tell me about her amazing story of what trauma she had been through. I am so proud of her. But note, that we didn't once talk about that for her to be done with her eating disorder. We just took a direct approach.
Myth #3 - Your eating disorder is a way of coping with your trauma. So here is the myth. You have a problem in your life. And then you eat to cope with that problem. And until you can cope with that problem in a different way, then you will keep binging.
Let's look at that. So in the moment, when you are really down if you don't have some other way to cope, then you just have to binge right? It's your only way of coping. Do you see how disempowering that is? It's like saying you have to binge!
Try on this perspective. You have a problem. And you have an eating disorder. So now you have TWO problems. And now it's DOUBLE coping! So maybe those with eating disorders actually have MORE coping skills because we are dealing with so much!
So instead, you end your eating disorder. Then you take all that extra energy, money, mental space, health, freedom and apply it to fixing your other problems.
Doesn't that sound like a better way? And it works really well.
I want to say we are with you. All of those who have been mistreated. It's a horrible thing and I would want us to 1) take measures to stop it 2) support those who are victims and 3) help them seek whatever help they need to heal.
My message is please, don't let anyone tell you that you are broken. Or that if you suffer from an eating disorder that you are doomed to it until you fix everything else you are dealing with.
I say freedom now. Get your life back as soon as possible from the prison of this habit so you can deal with your real life as a free woman.
If you want help with this, you can go to www.LydiaLifestyle.com and apply for a free session to get started.