How to Care for Your Super Sad Self

Not that you are a sad person. You are just a person who is sad. Here is how to care for you when you are super sad.

1. DO NOT do your "best."

We often gauge our best by "that one time when everything in my life was perfect, I got that unexpected check in the mail, everything I had worked for was finally paying off, and I got everything done on my to do list in such record time so I took a bubble bath and read a book." Then we guilt ourselves for not operating as THAT person while we are in the depths of despair. You are not THAT person right now. And that is OK.

Your "best" will be different every, single day. Your capacity changes. I say, do what you can TODAY and don't add guilt to your task list.  Taking a shower today may use as much energy as saving those kittens from that burning house did on another day.

2. DO NOT do the things that "make you happy."

YOU ARE SAD. If you are on a quest to do that ONE thing that will "make you happy" you are probably reading this while still questing. Don't put all that pressure and expectation on something like "reading a book." Instead, don't expect to be happy. Be sad. Be a super sad person with no expectations for a complete mood swing. I say, do what you WANT. And don't do what you don't want. It's more about taking care of you right now than picking up a new hobby with your limited mental energy.

3. Don't try to stop feeling sad.

In studies that compare those who practice mindfulness vs those who don't, some really interesting stuff comes up. For instance, the mindful group, when experiencing pain, FEEL it more (on brain scans) but EXPERIENCE it less (when asked about it) (from The Science of Mindfulness: A Research-Based Path to Well-Being)

Pain isn't always intuitive. When we feel sadness and pain our reaction is to stop it, change it & escape it. But that RESISTANCE often amplifies it. Actually feeling fully & really experiencing our sadness can be an incredible way to move though it.

Try this next time you feel super sad: let it consume you. Let it wash over you. Swim in it. Let it sink in and fill you up. Let it swallow you whole. And then realize: you didn't die. Despite the guarantees your brain gave you that letting yourself be this sad was death and you should distract, numb and run from it, you will find yourself in the other side. Still there. You looked under the bed and there was no monster. You felt the sad. And once you feel it, it can change. Just like all feelings do if you just wait.


And for those times that are acutely, super sad. Here is an audio meditation to help you on your journey:

We all run into rough spots in life. A great one to save for later.

A guided meditation for really hard times. Sometimes we get news, face change, or realize things that send us into a tailspin. The kind of moments that seem overwhelming and paralyzing. Our bodies freeze and our minds race.

In these moments we often don't know what to do. We are suspended in panic.

This guided meditation is to help slow the momentum of our minds speeding up and our emotions running out of control. This was created to comfort, guide, redirect, and distract from these intense moments so that you can get the ground back under you and start fresh.